*this is NOT a feel good post. it is raw.*
Without going into detail, I’ve screwed up. I’ve made several bad decisions over the past several years, and innocent people have been impacted by my choices. It has been recently said of me that “…he never takes responsibility for his actions! He never admits when he’s done wrong, and never tries to actually DO anything about it.” (and no, some of you, it wasn’t who you might think it is who said that. But you are probably close).
I disagree with their assessment, but that doesn’t really matter; at least not to them. I don’t think that there is anything…ANYTHING that I could do to change their mind about the way things have been in the past. My only hope is to do things going FORWARD that help shape their opinion in the future. Because there’s nothing that I can do about the past. None of us can.
To paraphrase someone much wiser than I: “No one can change the past. But we can ALL make the decision now to do something about our future.” This post is part of my decision.
Thing is, that person will never likely read this. That said, am I writing this for them, then, or for myself? I don’t really know the answer to that just yet.
I am going to say this here, now, and then move forward. Yes, I will occasionally look back, but only to see how far i’ve come; NOT to languish, lament, or reside.
Events occurred in November, and I made some bad decisions that have had and will continue to have negative ramifications likely for the rest of my life. For this, and the way my poor choices have afflicted some innocent people, I wish to express my deep sorrow and regret. I will forever beg your forgiveness. To those who were not directly involved in the events, I apologize for bringing pain and stress into your lives.
In the months and years to come, I ask for everyone’s patience and perhaps some assistance as I try to move forward toward a better, brighter future.
Thank you for your time. I hope to make my subsequent posts MUCH lighter in tone.