I take a class on Monday nights. Without going into the embarrassing details, we are asked 3 questions before we can leave:
1) What did you learn?
2) How do you feel?
3) Do you have any urges to hurt yourself or anyone else?
Here are my answers from tonight:
1) I have learned that I have no idea what I am doing.
2) I am conflicted. (to which the instructor said, “you’ve said that three weeks in a row.” i replied, “that’s because I am still conflicted.”)
3) I have no urges to hurt anyone else.
Read that last answer carefully. The instructor didn’t pick up on it, which kinda ticked me off. He heard me say conflicted, but FAILED to hear that I’d left out “myself or” from #3.
So I came back to my abode, changed into running attire and jogged over to the local soccer fields for a workout. I did DesigerWhey/Steve Pfiester’s “Just you and the pavement” workout, but did it on grass instead; most of the pavement around here is either on the roads or in a parking lot. It goes like this:
Sprint 50 meters
15 push ups
15 high knees (vertical hop and raise your knees)
15 burpees (of course)
repeat x 3
It hurt. Took me 7:03 to get it done. The FIRST round took me less than 90 seconds. yep. wow. holy SLOWED WAAAAAY DOWN….ouch.
Then i did a slow run for a mile in the woods. Come to find out there’s a .25 mile trail loop adjacent to the soccer field. Perfect.
So I took out some conflicted frustration on myself, but kept it to a reasonable level. I call that progress.