Attitudes are contagious…

There’s a saying out there that goes something like, “Attitudes are contagious, is yours worth catching?” Have you heard that? Seen it on IG somewhere, with some wonderful scenery in the background or some muscl-y person doing something ‘amazing’ that is meant to inspire you to have a good attitude.

attitudes are contagious
awww…kiddos….

Lately, my attitude has been for shit. I can’t find a silver lining in anything. I try, too. I know that to some people it doesn’t appear as though I’m trying, but I am. To others, even, it might not appear that my attitude sucks. To this I say, “SUCCESS!” Why? I’ve managed to ‘fake it ’til I make it’ with these folks. Should I be my ‘authentic self’ with everyone?
HELL NO. Since “attitudes are contagious,” I need to be conscious of which attitude I show in any given circumstance. Work gets my best attitude. Well, my patients do, and most of my coworkers. Some get to see the real me (current me?). I feel badly for them and try to show a good face, but sometimes that becomes exhausting.
Instead, I pretend all day then go home and my shit-tastic attitude comes blaring out when I’m with my family; the ones who deserve me at my ‘best.’ <<--whateverthehellthatmeans. I don't even know what my 'best' is these days. Most days it is a struggle to be able to stand in the kitchen long enough to make lunch or do dishes. Is that my new 'best'? I can't run in the yard and play with our son. Standing and playing catch is tough, unless I can spend most of the time squatting like a catcher. Good thing he's a great pitcher, because I can't make the lunges out to the side to catch errant balls. Is that my new 'best?' Long, hot shower? Fuggedaboutit. Can't stand long enough for the hot water to have any effect. Shaving? My wife doesn't like scruff, but my back doesn't like me to stand at the sink long enough to shave without, you guessed it, squatting down for a minute or so. Is that my new 'best?' If so, I'm doomed. I can't keep up the ruse for the rest of my life, and my family deserves better. Work is suffering, health is suffering (I'm in the worst shape of my life right now. well, for the past 20 years, anyway.), and my family life is suffering. Something has got to give. Thank you for allowing me to rant about my crappy mindset. Remember, "Attitudes are contagious." Have a nice day. Gene

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